I started this blog for a class in my first year in high school. I was a gawky kid with no friends, and an angry heart at those who could change the world but instead invested their time in trying to fit in.
Have things changed since then? Since them?
I don't think so. And yet, I do think so. I'm still gawky, and I still don't like people who waste their potential. But I've gained something from those 6 years since first year high school.
I've found things out about myself that I both love and don't love.
I'm different, and yet I'm the same. It's hard to explain.
Life tells you to discard the people who don't benefit you. The ones who suck the life out of you. I say don't. I agree that you probably shouldn't hang around them too much if their negative vibes are overwhelming, but at the same time, don't give up on them. Hope for them. See their potential and pray for them. And when you can, help them.
God has been supremely faithful to me these past few years. Instead of me being blown away by the world, the world has been spinning past me and God. With Him, I could face anything blown my way. And I know that without Him, I may have gotten the approval of the world, and of the Devil, but it would have bitten me in the back and killed me in the long run.
The tears I cry are tears for the world, not tears for myself. I cry when I feel depressed, and cry harder because I know there are people like me who feel a hundred times more depressed and they have no God to comfort them.
People dis my God. They say that He's useless, that He just wants your praise, that He's selfish. What, may I ask, has He done that's been a con for me? He has provided me with a home, He has given me the friends I have now. He has sustained me, He has been my strength.
Does He really not listen when you call? Think again.
You can take a risk with your life and jump off a cliff 50 feet into a lake, but you can't try to spend one day of your life to call on Him genuinely?
Well.
It's funny, I was going to make this blog about how sick I was at the end of 3rd year college Intersession. Literally, sick. My nose is sniffing away as I write this. I must have gone to the bathroom more times today than I have in the past 2 months.
- Jenna Selim/Hanadar
